


everything's alright when you're with me

by rosekatxo



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-14
Updated: 2018-10-14
Packaged: 2019-08-02 07:05:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16300361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosekatxo/pseuds/rosekatxo
Summary: Charity and Vanessa try to comfort Chas after her breakdown at the wedding (and have a moment or two)





	everything's alright when you're with me

**Author's Note:**

> this was meant to be up in time for vanityfest but life got in the way... i haven't written these two in months as i've had a lot of personal stuff to deal with irl, but this idea just wouldn't leave me. it's not my best work by far but i wanted to get it up when i had chance and hopefully it'll ease me back into writing again. enjoy x

 

“That’s almost it, I reckon,” Vanessa said as she surveyed the pub, hands on her hips with a small frown across her face. Her eyes fell on a lone silver banner, the last remnant of the celebrations from merely hours before that felt like a lifetime ago, fluttering gently on the wall. “Just that last one to get. Help me up, will you?”

She moved across the room, grabbing the stepladder on her way. “Honestly, how I ended up doing this when I’m the short one here is beyond me, why aren’t you up here?” she joked. Hearing no response, the smaller blonde’s brow furrowed.

“Charity?”

Still nothing.

Vanessa felt a surge of panic in her chest. She twisted her neck slightly, searching for any sign of her girlfriend – well, twisted as much as she dared whilst balancing halfway up a stepladder – and the sight she was met with sent a pang through her heart. “Oh, Charity."

The taller blonde showed no sign she’d heard her; she stood by the bar, head resting in her hands, eyes vacantly unblinking, lost in her thoughts. Vanessa knew Charity had been working on autopilot since Grace’s birth – despite the Dingles’ more than questionable attitude towards the blonde in her own time of need, this time Charity had been the strong one whilst everything had fallen apart around them. She’d had to be – for Chas, if nothing else, and for the kids, who’d already had enough heartache to last a lifetime.

But of course, the trauma had brought back unwanted memories for Charity too, memories that wouldn’t even cross the mind of anyone but herself – nobody, that is, except Vanessa.

Swiftly reaching up to tug down the final reminder of the wedding, Vanessa unceremoniously dumped the fabric on the floor before making her way over to Charity. As she slipped her slender arms around the taller woman’s waist, resting her chin against Charity’s shoulder, Vanessa felt the barmaid jolt back to the present, exhaling sharply as she did so.

“Sorry, babe.” Charity sounded weary - to be expected after such an emotional day - her hands finding the smaller blonde’s as she spoke. She squeezed them gently, feeling a little of the tension leave her body as Vanessa returned the pressure before moving to play with the ends of her curls.

It had been a surprise to both of them to discover in the early days of their relationship that this movement calmed Charity somewhat – she’d never really been the type to need comforting in tactile ways, nor had she ever been with anybody who wanted to comfort her like that, and Vanessa certainly wouldn’t have pegged her as someone who’d practically melt when the vet stroked her hair. Somehow, though, it had become a sort of comfort blanket over the past few months, a surefire way for Vanessa to soothe her girlfriend whenever she needed to.

“I got lost in my head a bit there.” Charity continued, head tilting instinctively back to rest against Vanessa’s.

“Hardly surprising after today,” the vet hummed. “How are you holding up?”

“Tired, mostly,” the taller woman confessed. “Worried sick about Chas. Feeling helpless.” Vanessa clicked her tongue softly, shifting in Charity’s arms until their eyes met.

“I know. So am I. Don’t get me wrong, the wedding was lovely-”

“Considering one of the grooms was Robert Sugden,” Charity scoffed quietly, earning herself a slap on the wrist. “Ow!”

“But,” Vanessa pressed on, rolling her eyes, “it just feels kind of like… What now?”

“What now is Chas facing up to reality,” the barmaid spoke softly. “What now is the Dingles trying to pull themselves out of the wreckage once again.” The smaller blonde’s arm slid gently across Charity’s back.

“You will, Charity,” she breathed. “You know that. You Dingle women – you’re a force of nature. You’re all fighters, it’s in your blood. You’ll get through it.”

“I know we will,” Charity nodded. “But-” Her throat constricted as she thought back to her cousin’s earlier meltdown, when she’d grabbed onto her and Vanessa like they were her only tether to reality as her legs had buckled underneath her and the grief had finally hit. “Seeing Chas like that… Honestly, babe, I’ve never seen her in that state. Never, through everything we’ve been through. I don’t know how she’ll ever be okay again, I really don’t.”

The barmaid’s voice broke on her last word as she buried her face into the top of Vanessa’s head, taking a deep breath. Her girlfriend’s hands dropped to her waist, the gentle pressure grounding her as the slightest touch always did.

“It’s going to be hard,” Vanessa agreed sadly. “But eventually, she’ll be okay. Maybe she’ll never be quite the same as before, but she’s a survivor. And she has so many people who love her – Paddy, Aaron, Faith, us…”

“I know.” Charity gripped Vanessa’s hands tightly before letting go, exhaling loudly before pulling away. The vet smiled softly, allowing Charity to slide out of her grasp.

“Right, that’s all the clearing up done anyway. Maybe we should head back to mine for tonight, give them some space?”

“Sounds like a good idea, babe,” Charity nodded. “I might just pop through the back and let Chas know we’ve tidied, though, so she doesn’t have to worry about it.”

“You don’t have to make up excuses with me, Charity.” There was a note of amusement in Vanessa’s tone, shrouded by concern. “You can admit that you want to go and see how she is for yourself.”

“Not an excuse if it’s true, though, is it?” The corners of the barmaid’s mouth twitched into a smirk. “But yes, if you must know. I need to see her, make sure she’s okay – well, as can be. I don’t want to leave her if she’s not.”

The vet nodded in understanding. “Of course. Let’s go see, then, shall we?”

* * *

“Babe?” Charity pushed the door to the living room slowly open, the feel of Vanessa’s warm hand through the fabric of her dress a comfort as she steeled herself for the scene that might await them.

To her surprise, the room was still. Chas lay curled up on the sofa, shrouded in a fluffy blanket so that only her head and the tips of her toes were visible, chest shuddering with every breath, but her eyes were firmly closed. _She must’ve exhausted herself crying,_ Charity realised, her heart clenching at the thought. It was only then she noticed Paddy slumped in the chair to her right, keeping vigil over his partner. Exchanging looks with Vanessa, Charity made to back away but before she could take more than a step he’d clocked them, a fleeting look of gratitude crossing his face.

“Come in,” he motioned. Settling down beside him, Charity squeezed Paddy’s hand briefly before the smaller blonde pulled him into an awkward hug.

“How’s she doing?”

“Asleep.” The corner of Paddy’s lips turned up ruefully as he spoke just quiet enough so as not to disturb Chas. “Took me ages to calm her down, she was hysterical, but I think she’s worn herself out. It’ll do her good to get some rest.”

Charity nodded softly. “Yeah.”

“And how about you?” Vanessa broached. “It can’t have been easy, seeing her like that. Hell, it was bad enough for _us_.”

“I’m-” he shook his head. “I hate this. I feel so _helpless_ all the time and I miss Grace and I miss Chas even though she’s here and it’s just _awful_.”

“Oh, Paddy.” Vanessa’s eyes glistened as she patted his arm caringly. Charity sniffled.

“She’s lucky to have you by her side, you know. You’re both so strong, you’ll get through this. It just takes time.” Paddy nodded desperately, clinging to her words. They sat quietly for a few moments, Chas’s light snores the only sound, before he spoke up again.

“I hate to ask but… I don’t suppose you two could watch her for a bit while I nip round and see Marlon? I won’t be long, I just don’t want to leave her alone-”

“Of course we will,” Charity interrupted, shooting him a look that said do you even have to ask? “I mean, if that’s alright with you, babe,” she turned to Vanessa.

“Course,” the vet nodded in agreement. “You know we’re here for you both, whatever you need. You get off, don’t worry about it.”

“Thanks, guys. It means a lot.”

Getting to his feet, Paddy stared at Chas’s sleeping form before kissing her forehead so gently Charity couldn’t tell if he’d actually touched her at all.. Shooting the blondes a grateful stare, he slipped out of the room, closing the door quietly so as not to wake her.

As Vanessa kicked off her heels, groaning with pleasure as her aching feet hit the soft carpet, Charity moved closer to her cousin. After several long seconds of watching the shuddering rise and fall of the brunette’s chest, she gently brushed a stray lock of hair away from Chas’s face, absentmindedly stroking her head for a moment before composing herself and slumping down in the nearest chair.

“God, it feels good to get them heels off,” Vanessa sighed dramatically. “I feel like I’ve been stabbed in the soles by thousands of tiny men with pitchforks.” Charity pulled a face.

“Nice analogy.” She snorted softly. “It was probably all that dancing you were doing, yeah? Maybe next time you could give the dancefloor a break for a second – before you break your back, that is.” Now that she’d seen for herself that Chas was as ok as could be in the circumstances, the barmaid seemed to have brightened up again, and that in turn eased Vanessa’s worries.

“Oi!” She slapped her girlfriend’s arm playfully. “My moves are legendary, I’ll have you know.”

“Your moves in the bedroom, definitely – your dance moves? Not so much.” Noticing the frown on the smaller blonde’s face, Charity chuckled. “Oh, come on, Ness. You can’t be good at everything, you know? You might be a rubbish dancer but at least you can save a sick rat from the brink of death.” She fluttered her eyelashes, causing Vanessa to reluctantly break into giggles.

“He was a chinchilla,” she reminded her girlfriend sternly (or attempted to, at least). “So if everyone’s bad at something or other, then what’s yours?”

“Mine? No, babe, I’m practically perfect in every way,” Charity trilled. “You know that.”

“Of course you are, miss butter-wouldn’t-melt,” Vanessa rolled her eyes.

“Isn’t that what you love about me?”

“I don’t know about that,” the vet teased, Charity’s fingers curling around her face and tugging her close until their noses almost touched. “I can think of a lot of things I _do_ love about you, though.” She felt Charity’s smile grow as their lips hovered millimetres apart.

“Well, that’s good, because I can think of a lot of things I love about you an’ all,” the taller blonde whispered. “Even those bloody dance moves couldn’t put me off, babe.”

“Cheeky mare,” Vanessa breathed as she closed the gap between them, lips meeting in a soft yet passionate embrace.

“You two are sickeningly cute.”

Both heads jumped apart comically at the sudden interruption, embarrassed to be caught in the moment by the emotionally fragile woman they were supposed to be looking after. T _his is the last thing she needs to see, us happily loved up when her world is falling apart,_ Charity cursed herself.

“Babe, I’m so sorry, we thought you were asleep-”

The brunette cut her off as they turned around to face her, the ghost of a genuine smile on her lips. “Don’t be,” she rasped, rubbing her eyes. “It’s nice to see someone happy for once. Especially after what you’ve been through lately.” She looked around blearily, only just noting the empty presence in the room. “Where’s Paddy?”

“Just popped to see Marlon,” Vanessa explained. “He won’t be long. We said we’d keep an eye on you, so you didn’t wake up alone.”

“Right, because I need babysitting now?” Chas pulled herself upright as Vanessa shrank into her chair, noticeably abashed.

“That’s not what she meant. We just wanted to be here for you, in case you needed the company. I know you’re angry, you have every right to be, but please don’t take it out on Ness,” Charity sighed. Her cousin grimaced, shoulders sagging in defeat.

“I know. I’m sorry,” she directed the apology at Vanessa, who waved her off gracefully. “And I’m sorry you both had to see me like that earlier. I don’t know what came over me, but thank you for being there.”

“It’s called grief, babe,” Charity soothed. “You don’t have to apologise for how you’re feeling or not being able to control your emotions – nobody expects you to be okay right now. We just want you to let us help you.” She reached out to take Chas’s hand in her own, stroking her thumb over the back of it gently.

“She’s right, you know – and I don’t say that a lot,” Vanessa winked at the brunette, causing her to chuckle gently as Charity sent her dirty look. “There’s no right way to deal with this, but you do have to _deal_ with how you’re feeling. Letting it build up and pushing everyone away only makes things worse.”

“I can testify to that,” Charity murmured. The vet shot her a sympathetic smile.

“And like I keep saying to this one,” she quirked her head in the barmaid’s direction, “never say you’re ok when you’re not. Nobody expects you to be. But you are surrounded by people who love you and just want to be there for you, so please let them.”

Chas glanced up at her through watery eyes, stretching out her other hand to meet Vanessa’s and clinging to them both the way she had in the pub, as though they were her only lifelines. “Thank you,” she whispered. “You’re right, I know you are. It’s just so hard. Sometimes I’d rather shut out the world than have to face the truth.”

“And you think I don’t know how that feels?” Charity countered. “You’ve seen the state I’ve been in the past few weeks – months, even. But Vanessa’s right, hiding yourself away and pretending it’s all fine doesn’t help, it just makes the pain worse. I’m not going to let you do that to yourself.”

Chas’s face crumpled. “I just don’t know how things will ever feel ok again.” In one swift move, Charity slid from her chair across to the sofa and pulled Chas into her, rocking her backwards and forwards the way she would Moses after a nightmare – the way Vanessa had held her after her own nightmares lately – and whispering soothing words in her ear.

“I know it feels like the world is ending right now, but I promise you’ll get through this. We’ll get through this. We’re Dingles, remember? We can get through anything life throws at us, and I’ll be with you every step of the way.”

“And me,” Vanessa piped up from the other side of the sofa, voice thick with tears. “You’re not alone in this, Chas.” The brunette nodded acceptingly, tears still streaming down her face, and for a few moments the room lapsed into companionable silence, save for the odd sniffle and hiccup.

Deciding they’d had enough wallowing for one day, Vanessa wiped the remaining tears from under her eyes and hauled herself to her feet. “Right, how about I make you both a brew and then give you some time to chat before Paddy gets back?” She moved towards the kitchen as she spoke, flicking the kettle on and turning towards the fridge like the routine was second nature – which, she realised contentedly, it was.

“Don’t be daft, love.” Chas pulled away from Charity slightly to look the smaller woman in the eye. “You’re staying. You’re family now, after all.”

Charity smiled up at the smaller blonde, arms still wrapped around her cousin. The glint in her eyes and heaviness of her voice betrayed her true feelings as she spoke. “Absolutely. If we’ve ever been in need of some sunshine-y Woodfield optimism it’s now, babe. You're not getting away that easily.”

As Vanessa busied herself in the all-too-familiar kitchen, pulling her favourite yellow mug from the shelf as the two Dingles chatted softly in the background, she couldn’t help but think on Chas’s words.

_Don’t be daft, love. You’re family now._

She liked the sound of that.


End file.
